


Tis Not a Fash'n Statement, Tis a Deathwish

by idiotslantern



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Medieval, Emo Sam Winchester, F/M, Lack of interest in historical accuracy, Nobility specific dad jokes, brief mentions of Dean/Benny and Dean/Cain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 03:18:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7491324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idiotslantern/pseuds/idiotslantern
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life is rough for young Samwell of House Winchester</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tis Not a Fash'n Statement, Tis a Deathwish

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the tags "probably going to listen to 'Thy Alchemical Romance' a billion times at top volume, he'll show them, HE'LL SHOW THEM ALL" on [ao3tagsoftheday.](http://ao3tagoftheday.tumblr.com/post/144392329076)  
> Since John is wife hunting for Dean and Sam is, in canon, four years younger than Dean, and this is all medievally and people got married young then, I suppose Sam is probably underage. But fuck history, honestly. You can go ahead and read this as though he's of age. And there's nothing explicit anyway, so whatever.

Life is rough for young Samwell of House Winchester. His family is affluent and powerful, and you know what? It's awful. He needs to make a good impression, hold up the family name, blah blah blah. So he can't wear what he wants (like the shimmery black tunic and the breeches with the leg straps) or court who he would like to (like the bowyer's daughter, Cara, with her raven dark hair and _huge_... tracts of land). He can't even eat what he wants. He happens to like the dark maslin bread that the peasants eat more than he likes the white bread he is served with meals. He also likes the pottage he tried once at Cara's. But no, instead he's stuck with his father and brother, eating meals with several courses, and they always have plenty of meat to go around, and they have a choice between ale _and_  wine! In an attempt to get some pottage every now and then, he often tells his father that eating like this is wasteful and that they shouldn't be lording their wealth over their servants like that.

To which his father usually replies, “Samwell, I'm a _Lord_. I can lord whatever I want over people,” which generally earns a groan from Sam. He also follows it up with things like “you should be grateful that we have so much” or “your brother needs all that meat to keep up his energy as he trains.”

And there's _another_ problem in Sam's life. His brother, Dean. Older by four years, training to be a knight like their father had been, and _obviously_  the favorite. Their father is so invested in Dean's future, he spends hours overseeing Dean's training, and is constantly on the lookout for fair maidens to one day become Dean's wife, because Dean? Dean is the _heir_. He gets everything handed to him – a job, women, even extra servings of the meat that Sam doesn't like. And worst of all is Dean acts like all of this is a chore. Like he doesn't want all the women and their father's dedicated attention! Hell, he looks at the blacksmith's apprentice, Benny, with more appreciation than he does his prospective future wives. The only time he seemed to appreciate his standing is when King Cain came to visit, check up on how Lordship was going for Lord Winchester, or how the village was doing, or some nonsense young Sam only half paid attention to before leaving for his lessons and sneaking off for a romp in the woods with Cara.

When Sam returned, he saw Dean leaving the King's temporary quarters, smiling if a little sweaty and rumpled. Sam made a face as he asked “What? Now you're getting private meetings with the King? That's so unfair.”

Dean almost seemed to blush, but Sam figured that was because he was caught without his usual feigned indifference toward all the things his status earned him. “Maybe you would have had the chance to rub elbows with the King if you hadn't spent your whole day off gallivanting with the bowyer's daughter.”

Sam scoffed. “You're just jealous because I got to spend time with a beautiful maiden while you were stuck with some beardy old King inside all day.”

“You're right, Sammy,” Dean said with a chuckle, ruffling Sam's hair. “That's exactly it. I'm totally jealous.” And with that, Dean sauntered down the corridor. As Sam fixed his hair, he thought to himself that it looked like Dean was walking a little funny.

But other than that one instance? Dean always seems to silently brood about _something_. And with the newest crop of potential wives brought in for Dean, Sam has decided that _he's_  at least going to try to enjoy the benefits Dean reaps.

Among the gaggle of maidens is one that catches Sam's attention. The rest seem to be in awe of Dean, talking about the angle of his jaw, or how strong he looks, or commenting on any number of rumors they've heard about the great Dean of House Winchester. (If Sam hadn't been raised with better manners, he'd be rolling his eyes.) But this one maiden isn't gossiping, or ogling Dean. No, this girl is looking straight at Sam.

John instructs Dean to take some one on one time with each of the maidens, so as Dean disappears down a corridor with a girl who Sam believes he heard called Robin, he approaches the maiden who was looking at him.

“Good day,” he greets with a smile. “I'm Sam.”

She nods. “I'm well aware.” She takes his hand, and Sam is struck by the lack of formality as she leads him out of the hall they're in in search of – Sam hopes – somewhere more private.

“I didn't catch your name,” he tells her as he hurries after her.

She turns back to look at him, her dark hair whipping around and nearly hitting Sam in the face. Her smile feels like a sharp, well aimed blow to his chest. “You may call me Ruby.”

Ruby. Like the color of her painted lips. Like the blood pounding in his ears.

Forget Cara. She's got nothing on Ruby

When Sam snaps out of his Ruby induced haze, it's to the sound of her shoes echoing against the stone floor as she finds her way to a closet off the corridor, and just before she goes inside, she turns to face him, beckoning him to join her.

He follows her, and she pulls the door closed behind him, leaving no light but what ekes in under the door. But Sam doesn't need to see her. He can smell her – the faintest hint of sweat clinging to her skin because of the hot summer day – and he can feel her, pressing up against him in the narrow space of the closet. Her breath ghosts over his ear as she leans in, whispering “ _Have you ever bedded a woman, my Lord?_ ”

Sam sputters through something that almost sounds like a yes, but it sounds like a lie even to his own ears.

It's Dean who comes to find them a few minutes later, opening the closet door to find Sam on his knees, obscured from view by the skirts of Ruby's dress.

Dean clears his throat to get their attention and Ruby lets out a shocked yelp as Sam fights to get free of his cloth prison, falling onto his backside on the hard stone floor in the process. There's a look of panic in his eyes as he looks up and sees his older brother. “Dean! I-I,” he stammers. “It's not...what it looks like?”

Dean crosses his arms over his chest, raising an eyebrow, but saying nothing.

“Okay, it's exactly what it looks like. But she-- I--” Sam isn't sure what to say. He would either end up incriminating Ruby, himself, or both of them.

As it turns out, he doesn't have to explain. Dean chuckles and tells Sam, “It's alright. You were just having a little fun.”

“Really?” Sam asks, getting to his feet as Ruby smooths down her dress, looking as though she hasn't done anything wrong, or that would impugne her virtue. “You're not going to scold me for taking something that's supposed to be yours? Or tell father?”

There's a small scoff from Ruby in the background, but Sam is more focused on the fact that his brother looks more /amused/ than upset.

“No.” Dean shakes his head. “Though if you don't want him to find out, I'd suggest being a little more discrete next time.”

“We were plenty discrete,” Sam shoots back, earning a tandem eye roll from Dean and Ruby.

 --

John surprises Sam by allowing him to court Ruby properly, though they have far fewer opportunities for private time in closets from then on. Still, having Ruby around takes Sam's focus away from how Dean gets to go away for an entire month to stay with the king for...Well, he's not entirely sure why. Just yet another perk to him being older, he supposes.

John's even so kind as to allow Sam to invite Ruby to their home for supper, and is surprisingly cordial to her. Ruby herself is charming and finds herself in John's good spirits straight away. Sam sits back and lets them converse with a smile on his face, glad that things are finally going his way.

Then John brings up Sam's complaints about having so much meat available at their meals and not eating peasant bread, and Ruby agrees with John that it's something to revel in, not complain about.

Sam can never catch a break.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the SPN Coldest Hits Challenge for the July theme: Hashtags. [Here's the original post.](http://spncoldesthits.tumblr.com/post/146648925185/julys-prompt-posting-dates-15-18-of-july-the)  
> I've fallen into a pattern of only participating every other month. Both my April and June fics were started but not finished by the deadline. So I guess I'll see you guys in September?
> 
> Come talk to me about Thy Alchemical Romance on [tumblr.](http://avawilson.tumblr.com/) (The link should actually work now. This is why you don't attempt html at ass o'clock in the morning, because apparently you fuck up and start typing the rest of the author's note inside the brackets for the link.


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